Peter: Mostly Harmless

Well it’s been a few weeks and there have some pretty good things happen since last time.

The main one being my birthday – and Ellie bought me a whole host of top notch tools ready to get started on the car!  I’m now the proud owner of an Impact wrench, angle grinder, Dremel multi-tool and most of all……a superb air compressor to drive air powered tools!  Doesn’t get much more manly that that !!!

The next cool thing was that this morning (well, this evening after I got home from work actually) I got a letter from Nick who’s the chap building the main kit car body with some pictures of the body mocked up showing the modifications – and it looks absolutely brilliant so really pleased with that. I’m going to give him a call tomorrow to confirm and that (hopefully!) will be the end of me messing him about and he can get it all finished and delivered :)

With that in mind, the next step is for me start stripping the donor car down and that should hopefully be Sunday as Ellie is taking the kids to a birthday party and therefore I’ve got a few hours off.  First thing to do is to remove the passenger seatbelt and also one of the rear passenger seatbelts as I need to get these to Nick so he can finalise the position of the seatbelt mounts on the rollcage.

Up until this afternoon I was still hesitant about starting to break the donor down as I was enjoying driving it around from time to time, but today I realised that in practice I was just driving round in a car with a slightly shabby interior and not the most comfortable seats in the world – as opposed to my usual car which is fantastic by comparison! So I’m now more than happy to get the stripping underway.

I spent a bit of time checking on ebay recently to see what bits I won’t be keeping could sell and bring me a bit of money. Sadly most of the parts – including entire doors and even the carpets and headlining would only raise about £4.50 in total so that plans gone and I’ll sadly just be binning all the leftovers. The only exception is the switch that controls the passenger electric seat – remarkably this is worth £45 for some reason!

Right, hopefully I’ll report back with more info in the next couple of days as things get underway……very very excited!

I had some good news yesterday – the Discovery passed it’s MOT test and is now fully road legal.  It needed a couple of new brake pipes and a new brake servo but other that than it was all pretty straight forward.

This morning I therefore drove it to the Post Office and got myself a nice shiny new Tax disc for the princely sum of AAAAHHHH £s. Yes it was little pricey, but it turns out a 4 litre V8 isn’t in the cheapest tax band!

A lot of people will be wondering why I bothered getting it tested and back on the road if I’m only going to start taking it apart in the near future in preparation for the new bodywork arriving.

The answer is twofold.

Firstly: I now know that the basic vehicle is mechanically safe and road legal (as far as an MOT covers). There’s not much point spending the next 6 months building it only to find out at the end that the chassis/axles etc. should have been set alight and floated out to sea on a Viking burial longboat

Secondly: I can spend the next 2 or 3 weeks using it as an occasional drive :) I’d love to give a good reason like ‘to give it a good run to see if there is anything I need to attend to’ or some other good excuse, but really its just that I want to have a good play in my new toy before I need to really get to work gutting it ready for the new rollcage and body.

And the expensive tax disc that will gather dust for 6 months or however long it takes to get the finished project on the road? Easy – you can send them back and get a refund on the months you haven’t used.  Therefore I’ll keep the disc until towards the end of September and then send it back for a refund.

Watch this space for some pics of the new toy and hopefully some news of the delivery of the first set of bits!

A: They are all CD’s I found today inside the CD multi-changer that I didn’t even know was under the drivers seat the Discovery I bought last week!

The previous owner had removed the original Land Rover stereo and replaced it with a much nicer modern Radio/CD Player so it never even crossed my mind to see if there was a multi-changer in the car, but during my lunch break today I was trying to work out why the drivers seat doesn’t go up and down and while looking underneath suddenly realised that there it was, staring me in the face.

Because the original radio had been removed, it wouldn’t eject the cartridge so I wondered into the office to grab a screwdriver and socket set to remove the whole unit.

Obviously because nothing is ever easy (particularly on a Land Rover) it didn’t come straight out.  Normally it’s a really easy job as you just slide the seat to reveal the bolts and then you can whip it out.

Did I mention the seat is stuck and can’t be moved?

Therefore I had to go with either a) removing it with tools properly or b) removing it with a big hammer (also technically a tool, but not really the right spirit!)

I started by removing those little plastic push-fit lugs that were holding on the trim around the bottom of the seat so I could get at the bolts. Naturally this didn’t want to come off because it was tucked under the carpet at the edges.

The carpet won’t come up because it in turn is held on with a 3 foot bit of trim under the edge of the drivers door.

So the removal therefore went:

1. Remove the plastic lugs – astonishingly enough not a single one broke/split/pinged off hitting me in the eye
2. Remove the trim at the bottom of the door sill (4 very rusty screws)
3. Remove the trim around the drivers seat – after finding the hidden rusty screw, Hidden underneath a sticky substance I don’t even want to consider.
4. Bugger about for 10 minutes removing all the skin off my fingers undoing the 3 bolts that hold the cd player down. This nearly resulted in giving up and heading for Hammer Option B
5. Refit the various trims.
6. Carry exceedingly dirty cd changed into the office
7. Wash hands. A lot.

It then took me nearly as long again to get the damn case of the CD changer to get at the CD’s, but due to pig ignorance/brute force I got them out. The CD changer (well, the 4 or 5 large bits left) when headed for the bin.

Based on the CD’s found I can only conclude the previous owner was likely around 40 (due to the very high number of Clapton CD’s in it), bought Thriller Special Edition because it reminded him of when he was young and had the original LP (yes, I know I have the LP too, but thats not my point!) and was having a mid life crisis and decided that buying a single Zutons album would remove 20 years from his appearance.

On the plus side, I’m now up 6 albums and theres enough space to look under the damn seat to start working out why the seat won’t move :)

More to follow….

It’s been a while since my last blog – I wish i could say it’s due to some really important reason, but it largely boils down to a combination of laziness and bugger all to talk about.

However….That's all changed now!

For a looooooong time I’ve wanted to do a car project and each time I’ve changed car, I’ve announced to Ellie that this time I’ll be modifying it and turning her into an automotive widow.  I thought this was all over when I bought the bright orange G4, but alas no – it wasn’t long until I started to feel the itch again.

Many (many many many) years ago my first car was a Rover Metro that was basically shot and I spent all my spare time one summer getting it back up and running, only to find out at (what became) the end that the front sub-frame was totally rotten and it was therefore beyond repair.  The saving grace was that I spent a lot of time learning all about engines/transmissions/brakes etc. and really enjoyed it.

Although it has been quite some time since then, I’ve often harked back to those days and wondered about doing something bigger.

About 2 years ago, my friend Liam (who had also had a similar bug – no, not the sort that needs ointment before anyone suggests it!) bought his kit car project and spent many months putting it together in his garage – have a look at http://www.kitcarbuild.co.uk/ for the full story.

Needless to say, every time I read his blog, or whenever he spoke about it at work I was incredibly envious and desperate to get on with one myself. Due to having two very small children though, the plan has had to wait – not least because Ellie pointed out that I just wouldn’t have the time to do anything with it.

About 4 weeks ago though Ellie came and talked to me and we worked out that now the kids are sleeping quite well in the evenings, and they are now old enough to play quite well for the odd morning or afternoon that the time had come, and we should start the hunt.

At this point, I confessed that I actually already knew exactly which car I wanted to build and promptly bored her senseless with the build manual that I had :-) 

Shortly after that I placed the order with Nick from NCF Motors (www.ncfblitz.co.uk) who makes the actual kits and it’s due to arrive in September!

Down to details:

The actual kit car I’m building is an NCF Sahara - http://www.ncfblitz.co.uk/page10a.html which is a fairly tough off-roader but with very good on-road manners. Because Jarretts can’t do anything normally, we’re actually going for a pretty customised version. For example, the normal Sahara is only a 2 seater, but Ellie and I have been working on a design to make it a 4 seater so we can take our 2 boys out with us as they will absolutely love it – it would be awful if we couldn’t just all jump in and head out on an adventure.  Because I’m the engineer (aka grease monkey!) I’ve been working with Nick on modifications that Ellie and I drew up to the roll-cage and the back body, and we think we’ve got it sussed, so hopefully I’ll be able to show you some previews soon!

The car is based on a Land Rover Discovery I so we also needed to buy a ‘donor’ vehicle so I’ve spent a lot of time scouring e-bay and Autotrader looking for just the right car. I spent ages trying to decide what sort of donor I wanted – diesel or petrol, manual or auto, early or late model and then finally settled on a Diesel Auto – Diesel engines are great for deep water wading, but also the auto-box is becoming more and more popular with off-roaders as it makes it a lot easier to control in tricky situations.

I found a couple of good examples on ebay but they kept either going to silly money, or bidding would finish on a good price but below some unreasonably high reserve prices.  I even “won” an auction but didn’t reach the reserve so obviously didn’t get anywhere with that.

Ellie recently went to America for her brothers wedding, and while she was away I re-watched “A 4x4 is born” and by the end of it had totally changed my mind and decided that instead of a diesel Auto, I was after a Petrol (V8) Manual.  Nothing like changing your mind totally at the last minute is there!

Back to ebay with a new search and almost straight away found the ideal car. I watched it for a few days but the listing wasn’t the best so I think people stayed away as it just wasn’t getting any bids. With 1 hour to go I decided this was the one for me and then a problem cropped up.  I re-read the listing and realised this was a v8 (good) but an auto (not what I was after).  After about 50 minutes I thought “stuff-it, this is the one for me” and bid. Although someone tried to snipe me at the last minute I got the car for pretty much the opening price (which was pretty low it has to be said!)

Talking to Ellie about it we devised a plan. If the car was actually in really good nick, then she would have it as her car because her PT-Cruiser is getting a bit expensive to maintain. If it was in really good nick, we would actually re-list it with a much better listing and hopefully turn a small profit to put towards the build costs.  If it was shot then we would obviously walk away.

Liam and I went and collected the car the other day, and I have to say it’s a pretty good car. In fact, I really enjoyed the drive back and it sounds amazing. Not good enough for Ellie as her day car as it has got some body problems etc. but fine as a donor car as we only need the chassis, engine, running gear and bulkhead. We had a really good look over it before we handed over the rather slim envelope of cash and there wasn’t anything hugely obvious so I’m hoping that's a good start.

Being honest, the listing on ebay wasn’t actually that accurate as it turned out – but close enough that we should be ok. 

During the drive back I noticed a few issues, but I think none of these are huge (even though some of them sound it!):

1. Engine idling is a bit poor and it did stall a few times – I had to practice some left-foot braking on the way back when stopping to keep the revs up. Liam and I tweaked the idle speed a little, but this is only a workaround, not a fix.
2. At speed, the car is generally very good – stable and swift, but there is a bit of rough running between 1800 and 2500 revs.
3. The brakes are spongy – you have to press them right the way down before they kick in, but they do come on strong when you get there.
4. The gearbox seems to be getting very hot and you can feel this through the gear stick. We checked transmission fluid level on the way home and it looked like it had been massively over filled so that might be it (but see below!)
5. It has a funny smell, and the interior is filthy! Annoyingly the seats are in really good condition but the dashboard is filthy. The reason this is annoying is because the seats will be removed and flogged but the dashboard is staying. I’m hoping to get out there tomorrow with a cloth and give the interior a good clean. 
6. A couple of bits of plastic trim are broken, but these will all be removed during the build process so no problem there.
7. In one of the rear light clusters, one of the bulbs has blown so I’m off to Halfords tomorrow to get a new one.
8. The light bulb that illuminates the Clock is also shot :-)
9. Finally, in true red-dwarf style, the drivers seat doesn’t go up and down anymore!

The two biggish ones are the 1) and 3) and these could be either huge, or pretty simple. In fact, one chapter of a workshop manual I’ve read notes that if the brake master is shot then this will actually affect the engine running as it is connected via the vacuum system – no, nothing to do with dyson! This should be a fairly simple fix as it just needs a new master cylinder, so I’m hoping its that one.

This evening I’ve spent a couple of hours checking the car over and overall it’s pretty good. The spark plugs are a little sooty which suggests running rich, but it hasn’t drunk any water on the long drive back so that's a good thing.  It looks like the Distributor cap and HT Leads have both been changed recently, but at least one of the HT leads wasn’t inserted properly as it’s covered in carbon, and another fell apart (poor quality) as I checked it. Those will need to be replaced by the time the car is finished, but that’s something I want to do in terms of refreshing all the wiring and plumbing anyway.

I read the manual on how to check the Transmission Fluid level and you actually have to do it in a pretty specific way:

• The gearbox and engine needs to be cold.
• Start the engine, and check the brakes are all on.
• Move the gear lever from Park to 1 and back to Park.
• Leave the engine running.
• Check the fluid level using the dipstick (withdraw,wipe, insert, withdraw and then check)

Once i did it this way it was pretty clear that the level was actually very low not high so I put in half a litre of fluid to top it up to halfway between min and max.  I think the previous owner had checked the level, but did it with the engine off and the gearbox cold because when I checked it that way it did show a seemingly good level , but this is not the correct way to check it and you end up with the wrong level, so that might well explain why it was running so hot on the journey back.

Its booked in to my favourite independent Land Rover garage (Maltings Land Rover) on Friday, and hopefully they won’t suggest that they take it out the back and quietly have it shot.  On the run over there I’ll keep an eye on the gearbox temp and see if that one is fixed.

I’ll report back more after the Garage gets back to me!

As some know, I didn't get much done last summer for reasons that are far too boring to go into, so this year I've determined that I'm going to pull my finger out and on with those crappy jobs that pile up around the house.

My plan is to start now, as not only should it mean I have more time later in the year, but also with last years backlog not done I'm way behind already....

Last weekend it kicked off :

I started by fitting a stairgate at the bottom of the stairs. For months we had been using a travel stairgate but this is a pain in the arse as it doesn't mount to the wall, so whenever you release the lock on it , it promptly falls to the floor. This is particularly ideal when carrying a small child under one arm, and a bottle of milk and set of pyjamas in the other. Cue lots of swearing (and being shouted at by Ellie for doing so whilst within 1/4 mile of Ethan) as I try my very best not to fall arse-over-tit and drop the little guy. Also, Ethan was getting a bit too clever and was starting to work out just how to lever it out of the way and I've timed him going up the stairs at around 15 seconds. I suspect coming back down on his head would be quicker though....

This new stairgate is quite different as it looks a lot like a roller blind mounted vertically so you drag it across the stairs and it un-rolls and latches to a catch on the other side. The roller then locks so it can't be rolled further or released without performing some magic thumb, forefinger and middle finger dance on a button on the top. I'll let you know if I ever manage to find the magic combination - it's a bit like a special move in some sort of street-fighter arcade game. For now I fiddle with it a bit, then raise both middle fingers and aim them at the offending thing whilst cursing...See earlier remark re cursing....

(Seriously it's actually quite a neat bit of kit, so i recommend it to anyone with a sprog with suicidal stair tendencies)

Next was a new light fitting for the wall light in the lounge.  For the last 2 years it's tended to flicker and go out whenever something vibrates the wall - such as the RAF practicing strafing runs over the village, which seems to happen every other night.  I presume they are practicing in case we all finally have enough of the threats to close our local post office and go...well...postal...and the government of the day decides Napalm is the only way to stop the marauding pensioners...

Though that would cut the queue on Pension day.....

The final straw was that when performing "The-Dance-Of-The-Thump-Thump" on it to make the light come back on, bits of plastic started to rain down on me. I figured the God Of Crap Bronze Effect Lights was telling me something and called it a day.

Quick trip to B&Q and back and we now have a nice new wall lamp up and running. I'm glossing over the huge lump of plaster (imagine something the size of Michelangelo's "David") that fell out of the wall when I took the old one off. More accurately, I filled it, then Ellie matt-painted over it  before I then screwed the new fitting into it.

As we stood back to admire our handy work, Ellie ever so sweetly noted that 2 years ago we took the old one's ugly twin sister off the wall in the other room and had it shot (it was a mercy killing), and wouldn't it be nice to buy another one and fit it thereby covering the other sodding great whole in the plaster. If only we would have thought of that 2 hours earlier I would have saved myself another trip to B&Q....

Finally I mowed the front and rear lawns whilst Ellie and Ethan cleared up weeds and leaves etc. As we went inside I noted that the front door was squeaking slightly from the hinge, so went and got a tin of oil and oiled the hinges. This didn't solve it however, because the true reason for the squeak was because the door is starting to drop and rubbing on the door frame. Great - another thing to do. Still, i did at least then remember to oil the hinges on the cupboard under the stairs that have been squeaking for longer then Ethan has been alive....

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This weekend saw yet more BIY.

The garage has become a general dumping ground and has been this way since about 4 seconds after the removal men asked "where shall we put all these other boxes?" 3 years ago. So this weekend I went and bought enough timber to personally account for 14.3% percent of the worlds deforestation  and boarded the loft space above the garage. More accurately, I did about 2/3rds of it, and my father in law helped me with the rest, because by then I was holding up Sunday Dinner (and it was roast beef too!)

Only bad moment was heaving myself up onto a newly finished section then watching the A-Frame ladder start swaying from side to side looking a lot like it was going to fall over and leave me 10 feet above a concrete floor with no way down. Luckily, the God Of Bodging smiled upon me as it caught on a beam and stayed upright allowing me to get down. Otherwise I'd probably still be there...

I did buy another light fitting, but haven't fitted it yet. It's sat on a shelf in the slightly tidier garage next to a new door-chain for the front door because on Wednesday Ethan (who is only 16 months old) worked out how to a) undo the current chain, b) open the door handle and c) go for a walk down the road.... We're now going to fit one higher up and hopefully that should keep him inside.

Of course, he's growing at a rate of about an inch per hour, so I fully expect him to bypass the new one by a week on Thursday...

Hey-ho....