Hi again,

 

Sorry, another rant. But quicker i promise...

 

The Highway code (Website) tells all motorists how to drive legally and safely.

 

Can someone let me know where i can get the MAM (Middle Aged Motorcyclist) Version? This seems to be different than the one the rest of us follow. Presumably, once i hit 35 I can register with the DVLA and they will send me the "Got a mid life crisis so want to buy a huge superbike instead of an MG sports car, take 2 hours of lessons then get straight on the motorway?" Leaflet.

 

I have no problem with most motorbike owners/users. I really can see the attraction, but you have 3 less driving wheels than i like. For the most part - enjoy the open road, and the feel of the wind in your hair. Or more accurately, the feel of hot sweat inside those stifling helmets.

 

But for those dumbasses who have no sense of their own idiocy:

 

Speed limit=70 (ish).

Indicators=fitted for a reason.

Gap between cars on dual carriageway/motorway=there so we don't crash and die.

Headlights=angled down so we don't blind everyone when we stick our fat middle aged arses on the back of the bike.

Oh...and coloured overly stuffed groaning at the seams leather?=Power Rangers and no-one else. Ever.

 

The experts tell us that the number of motorcyclists dying each year is climbing at an alarming rate. Anyone want to hazard a guess which group of bikers is doing their best to bust the curve?

Dear BBC,

 

Why oh Why oh Why...

 

The other day i left the house for the 15 minute drive to work at about 8:30. Not hugely early, but the sun hadn't fully risen yet - you could se it, just still a way to climb. In other words you could see perfectly well as it was bright, just still a little more light to come.

 

Hmmm...I thought....maybe i should turn some lights on on the car. Not because i needed to light my way- no need, as it was already daylight, but so that other road users could see that i was on the move rather than stationary, and just to make sure that i could be seem from a little way back just incase as it was still a little not fully daylight.

 

Now being fair, my car is quite large, and bright bloody orange, so it's quite hard to miss but i'm considerate like that 

 

So, decision made i surveyed my lighting options. Side lights, Dipped Headlights, Full Beam Headlights. Then we have Front Fog Lights and Rear Foglights. Finally we have the choice of 2 further "driving" lights on the front bumper, and 2 more sets of 2 on the roof rack for use during recovery and night site work.

 

Right, no need for fogs. AS THERE WAS NO FOG (the more astute amongst you will see where this going...). No need for roof or driving lights - as i'm not an idiot hell bent on blinding/killing every person unfortunate enough to come the other way.  Pretty much same logic for both Full beam, and Dipped Beam.

 

Long story short - side lights only was the way forward.

 

So why did about 10% of the cars coming the other way have either dipped main headlights on, or have driving lights on, or even fog lights. Yes, thats right, quite a few were Beemers or other sales rep type cars. Those you would think would know better.

 

Ok, fogs, perhaps there was some fog down the road. Nope. None. Maybe there was localised heavy cloud needing headlights rather than sidelights. Nope, clear blue fresh winter sky. Ok, maybe they are all idiots. That explains the driving lights (you know, the little ones that aren't fog, but are bright enough to be annoying when the SUN IS NOW UP)

 

Some countries have now made it law to have sidelights on at all times the vehicle is moving - i believe Italy is the latest. I think this is a great idea - for instance, how many times have you gone to pass a row of parked cars, only to find the last one is actuall just paused for some reason and then pulls out in front of you. If they had the sidelights on (as they were travelling) then you would know that they weren't parked.

 

Christ alone knows however what this would mean in the Uk. Probably that all the above idiots would drive around all day long with every single light bulb blazing, hazard lights going and perhaps a sodding sign on the roof that says "Look at me - i'm a dickhead who can't work the on/off switch- The good news is the Government has given me a license to drive up to 7 tonnes of soon to be scrap metal at 60 miles an hour down a tiny winding country lane. WOOHOOO MEEEE!!"

 

And they wonder why there are 10 people a day killed on the roads in the uk...

 

Still i'm probably as bad, but luckily i've never seen me drive....